Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Don't Look!

I'm pretty sure people are always staring at me.

Not in an "Oh, look at that lovely young lady" way either.
In a "Something is wrong with that girl, I can tell. Also she has something on her face" way.

This has made me terribly self-concious.
I also have a terrible habit of thinking I can hear stranger's internal monologues.

"Oh, look at her. That skirt and shirt combination make her look frumpy."

"She clearly didn't have time to fix her hair either. I can tell she couldn't figure out what to do with her bangs so she panicked and gave up."

"What's she doing now, reading a comic book? Something is probably wrong with her. Poor retarded girl."

Even on days when I'm feeling good about myself and think my outfit is cute I am still incredibly paranoid.

I'm not sure where this paranoia started.

There was that time in high school when I was walking through the offices with my friend Michael. We passed some girls I had never seen before in my life and they subtly pointed at me and whispered, "There's that girl." "Yeah, I hate her."

Or that time in Kindergarten when the teacher wouldn't call on me to go to the bathroom and I wet my pants. Everyone was definitely staring then.

When I came back to class with fresh pants, the kid next to me stared at me more.
Then he asked, "Are you embarrassed?".
For some reason, I hadn't been embarassed until he asked.

1 comment:

  1. It's true, people are staring at you..it's a family curse.